Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

Thanks Freddie for a brilliant party and my best Christmas present!!! Ha now the world can see that I speak the truth!!! :D

A Christmas Miracle

On 23 November, I wrote a blog about my brother and sister in law who had been made redundant and now weren't coming over for Christmas. I hoped and prayed, possibly for the first time in my life, for a Christmas miracle.

It's happened.

My brother and sister in law are coming over for only four days - between 18th December and 22nd December. My parents are paying for them to come over, and they don't really know how they can afford to do it, but they don't really care, because now my whole family will be together for four days. And that is the miracle of Christmas. Family and friends joining together to talk, have fun and enjoy life.

I'm a very lucky person to be surrounded by so many people who love and care for me. This is going to be an amazing Christmas, and I'm so glad to be home.

I hope that everyone has a Christmas miracle, and has a happy and peaceful Christmas.

To whom it may concern

I found this on a random website i was looking at while trying to avoid finishing my packing. I wanna be six again!!!

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult, in order to accept the responsibilities of a 6 year old.

I want to think that everyone, including myself, will live forever, because I don't know the concept of death.

I want television to be something I watch for fun, not something used for escape from the things I should be doing.

I want to wonder what I'll do when I grow up and what I'll be, who I'll be and not worry about what I'll do if this doesn't work out.

I want that time back.

I want to use it now as an escape, so that when my computer crashes, or I have a mountain of paperwork, or two depressed friends, or bittersweet memories of times gone by, or second thoughts about so many things, I can travel back and build a snowman, without thinking about anything except whether the snow sticks together and what I can possibly use for the snowman's mouth.

I want to be six again

Going home

I put my iTunes on random the other day, and this song suddenly popped up. All it said was goinghome, it didn't have an artist and I don't remember downloading it. I listened to it and absolutely loved it! After some digging via Google and Youtube, I found out the artist is Jon Allen.

It was so weird how it suddenly popped up, a couple of days before I go home. It completely sums up how I'm feeling and is such a gorgeous song! Yesterday I was so happy and hyper because:

• I finished my essay
• I've finished all my Christmas shopping
• I've got a job over Christmas!
• It's Christmas soon
• And I'm going home!!!

Today's going to be a day of packing, which I am quite looking foward to, while at the same time dreading cause I've got so much to pack!! :S

So I will say goodbye so I can start sorting out what clothes I'm bringing home. I will see you all in Jersey very very soon!!!!! :D

Many miles we yet travel

Many lies we get to know

Theres a road that we must follow

But theres till time for us to grow

And though the way just keeps on winding

And everyday is a changing view

Down the line I keep on finding

This old road leads me back to you

I have had my share of leavin

I have walked this world alone

Now i hear your voice o' calling

I can see the lights of home

And though the way just keeps on winding

And everyday is a changing view

Down the line I keep on finding

This old road leads me back to you

I dont need no stars to guide

I dont need no moonlit sky

'Cos I know my heart will take me

Back to where my true love lies

And though the way just keeps on winding

And everyday is a changing view

Down the line I keep on finding

This old road leads me back to you

It's the final countdown.....

WOOOOO!!! Five days till I'm back in Jersey!!

Five days and I've got so much to do in these few short days!! AHHHHH!

I found this very funny comic just now which made me laugh a lot! It doesn't fit on my blog so here's the link:

http://www.explosm.net/comics/1476/

Very very funny!!

THE SHIT HAS HIT THE FAN

and its causing too many problems

Rain, rain, FUCK OFF!!!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!

I hate the weather today.

Ahhhhhhh

It's been chucking it down all day! Walking to uni this morning, I realised my water-tight boots have holes in them somewhere, cause my feet were all damp. Then I went into Brighton after my lecture to do Christmas shopping, even though it was raining. I thought I'd be fine! WRONG!!

I'd been in Brighton 10 minutes, when a car drove into a puddle too fast and I got completely drenched! I trudged round the shops, soaking, wet feet, and cold, and decided to go home cause I really wasn't in the mood to shop. On the way to the bus, my brolly blew inside out, and i got even wetter trying to fix it. Then I got splashed by yet another idiot in his car. God, sometimes I hate car drivers!

The bus was horrible - cause everyone was damp so it just stank of damp people, and i had to stand cause there were no seats and as people got on the bus, they splashed me with their wet brollies. Then I had to climb up the hill to my house, with my brolly trying to go inside out and my shopping bags trying to split. The only thing that got me up that hill was the thought of having a nice warm bath.

No chance. One of my housemates is in the shower, and I have to sit here, waiting for him to get out. Who says boys take less time than girls?
So Helen's not very happy at the moment, and yep, I'm looking out my window and the rain has stopped. Bloody typical.

Post bath - MMMMMM i feel sooo much better! Ahh the wonders of a good bath. I'm lovely and toasty warm, and I'm not grumpy anymore! I'm going to cuddle up on the sofa and watch Gilmore girls or a dvd and just chill tonight. Tomorrow - another essay to write! WOO!

Get LOST

www.lost.eu/7a16c

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

So yeah.

Frustration is setting in. Im trying to write this essay, that I used to be able to do without even really thinking about, and now i just can't do it. I have a block. And it needs to be in this week. So i should really just stop messing around on the internet and just do it. Yes, Helen, just go do it.

As my mum says, "Procrastination is my middle name"

I do believe in Christmas, I do, I do!

Well, my brother was made redundant on Friday because of something called the credit crunch. A couple of weeks ago, my sister-in-law was also made redundant. Their employers couldn't afford to keep them on, and as they were the last ones to be employed, they were the first ones out the door.

They bought their house only last year, and was the reason why they couldn't come to Jersey for my 18th, because they had mortgage payments and couldn't afford it. They were hopefully supposed to be coming to Jersey for Christmas, so we could have a proper family Christmas, as my sister's coming over and it'll be my niece's first Christmas. Doesn't really look like that's gonna happen, unless there's some sort of Christmas miracle.

The realistic, bah-humbug part of me thinks that there's no such thing as Christmas miracles and my brother and sister-in-law wont be joining us for Christmas.

However, the other part of me - the one that's grown up with Disney happy endings and too many happy Christmas stories - is daring me to believe that it can be done. I'm feeling so Christmassy! I have annoying Christmas songs (especially Freddie's) going round and round my head, I want to start decorating the house, even though its still November!

So, for possibly the only time EVER, I'm hoping, nay, praying for a Christmas miracle, because, well, it's Christmas! And everyone deserves a miracle at Christmas.

Wind was blowing, time stood still

Something about this song always makes me feel incredibly happy. Maybe its the fact that it's the first song I remember hearing, or maybe its just such a good song to sing along to, belting it out. Or maybe it just reminds me of sitting on Glastonbury Tor as the sun set, feeling completely and utterly at ease with the world.

I heard it today for the first time in a long time, and just made me feel all happy.

Solsbury Hill - Peter Gabriel

Climbing up on Solsbury Hill

I could see the city light

Wind was blowing, time stood still

Eagle flew out of the night

He was something to observe

Came in close, I heard a voice

Standing stretching every nerve

Had to listen had no choice

I did not believe the information

(I) just had to trust imagination

My heart going boom boom boom

"Son," he said "Grab your things,

I've come to take you home."

To keep in silence I resigned

My friends would think I was a nut

Turning water into wine

Open doors would soon be shut

So I went from day to day

Tho' my life was in a rut

"Till I thought of what I'd say

Which connection I should cut

I was feeling part of the scenery

I walked right out of the machinery

My heart going boom boom boom

"Hey" he said "Grab your things

I've come to take you home."

(Back home.)

When illusion spin her net

I'm never where I want to be

And liberty she pirouette

When I think that I am free

Watched by empty silhouettes

Who close their eyes but still can see

No one taught them etiquette

I will show another me

Today I don't need a replacement

I'll tell them what the smile on my face meant

My heart going boom boom boom

"Hey" I said "You can keep my things,

they've come to take me home."

The Fairy Princesses

I've just been looking through some old photos and I've found 2 that will cheer you up today! Enjoy!!!

Who makes the better fairy princess, I wonder?? :)

I'm feeling

CABIN FEVER

In just one month

I was sitting on my roof (i can climb out of my window onto the roof of the rooms on the ground floor and sit there), looking at the stars (through the clouds) and the full moon, listening to an appropriate song, when I suddenly realised what the date was.

13 November

I will be back in Jersey in exactly a month. I leave Brighton on the 13 December. 30 days and I'll be leaving my student home to return to my own bed, to see my family, and more importantly, my friends.

I don't know what to feel about going home in 30 days.

Disbelief - I can't believe how quickly the last 7 weeks have gone. I've almost completed 1/3 of my first year. That's scary!!

Excitement - I can't wait to see my friends again, and catch up, and have a proper, insane get together. I havn't yet shown my housemates the true, insane me, so I've got some insanity that I need to release! Who better than on my friends! ha ha

Dread - (a) I hate Christmas so I never look forward to this part of the year, and (b) living under my parents again is going to be soooo weird after surviving on my own for so long. Having to abide by my parents rules, being constantly asked about work/assignments etc, not being able to come in at whatever time i want and make as much noise as i want, not being able to cook for myself whenever I feel like it and eat whatever i want without disapproving looks....etc.

Relief - Finally I can get some Mummy cooking, and hopefully some of my washing done, especially the clothes with stains on them. Proper drying facilities instead of just my radiator.

Excitement (again) - because my sister, my brother-in-law and my niece are coming for Christmas so I can't wait to see them!!

Annoyance - because I will have to work during the holidays so I can afford to feed myself next term, and that means i'll have less time to relax, spend time with friends, sister, niece etc.

So yeah, I don't know if I'm looking forward to going back or not, but I know seeing my friends and niece will make everything else better. Its just going to be very very odd not living in my own house, making my own decisions and only answering to myself. So I'll be seeing you in 30 days....

Sometimes, I

Sometimes, I wish
I could fly,
Not like a bird
But on the wings
Of love, high in the sky.

Sometimes, I wish
I could be the ruler
Of the deepest depths
Of Hell, crushing
People’s bones for revenge.

Sometimes, I wonder
If he feels the
Love I feel towards
Him. If he feels
The love I have for him.

Sometimes, I want
People to suffer
For the wrong they
Have done, making
People’s lives a misery.

Sometimes, I loved
Sometimes, I hated
Sometime ago, I was
Alive.

Anyone remember this poem and who it is by?

Follow......

So, when I posted the last one a couple of hours ago, I was about to go off and watch a dvd before popping off to bed. In my house, that's not possible....

I first of all got drafted into helping with the washing up by doing the drying. Then my housemate, James, thought it would be a brilliant idea to clean the bathrooms - this was 11pm. What he actually meant by cleaning the bathroom was washing the damp from the walls. We're allowed to paint the walls because the paint is in such bad condition, so James decided now was the best time to clean the walls.

It was a lot of fun, but we've only just finished, cause once we finished the walls, the bath needed a clean cause it was all muddy, then the basin needed cleaning, so I did the toilet too and finally the floor.

So we have a nice clean bathroom!!! YAY!! That is until the rest of my housemates get back from their weekends away tomorrow, and the house becomes a bloody tip again! Oh well!!!

Now that I am UTTERLY exhausted, I'm off to bed, for real this time. Then its off to the library tomorrow to start some work......oh the fun!

Oh, anyway, it’s looking like a beautiful day

What a weekend!!!

I had an amazing time in the Land of Fred, and I am utterly exhausted. It was soo brilliant to see her again, even as Freddie lept on me, almost making me trip over my (far too big) bag. And then it was just a weekend of laughing, talking, taking the piss out of each other, arguing (true Freddie and Helen style), reminising and generally having a very fun time.



Then London which was one hell of an experience. And i hate to admit, that, at one point, I did feel Christmasy as we saw all the pretty window displays. That is past me now, and I'm back to being a Scrooge. Bah Humbug!



So after a weekend of fun and mischief, I'm back in my bed at home, absolutely exhausted, and really looking forward to seeing Freddie, and all my other friends, back in Jersey in 4 weeks time!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe I finish my first term at uni in 4 weeks!!!



Anyway, I'm very tired, and I think a little ill, so I'm going to settle down with a DVD, chill out then go to bed!!

Thanks Freddie for a brilliant weekend!!! :D

Nothin' lasts forever, even cold November Rain

Happy beginning of November.

I can't believe October went so fast, and I've only got just over a month left at uni until I go back to Jersey for Xmas. How freaking scary is that.

So, it's November and guess what.....it's raining. Well, it had to happen. Absolutely chucking it down all day long. I was going to go to the library casue I've got a couple of essays due this week, but I saw the weather and decieded to stay in bed. Which is where I am now, still in my pjs at 4pm.

I love being a student.

So I'm listening to November Rain, watching the rain outside my window, in bed with a cup of tea, and I dont think I could be happier. This is what I want to do for the rest of my life! Pity that I will have to go to the library tomorrow to do work, cause otherwise I'm going to be stressing all this week. But for now, I'm going to settle down, and enjoy listening to the rain outside my window, while I'm lovely and cosy in my bed!

What a funny old world this be...

Well, its half twelve and i've just been woken up by two of my housemates, playing a prank on another housemate by playing loud music outside his door. He wasn't even asleep but I WAS and so was very rudely awoken. And now I cant get back to sleep. I didn't sleep very well last night, and I was having such a good dream, and I'm tired, but my brain just wont stop going round and round and round and round and round and round.

It's been a while since I've written a blog so i thought id write one now as I'm wide awake. Unis been fun but completely manic and i'm living with people who dont have a quiet button, so the house is on the go all the time! its really quite tiring. I've been dubbed Mum because I do all the washing up, and look after everyone when they're hung over. I also sort out the bills and stuff, I organise everyone and I always make sure we have enough milk, bread, eggs etc. I love my housemates and I'm so glad everythings sorted itself out after such a rocky ride to get here.

My course is great - i've got a lot of reading to do which is really annoying, but I'm generally enjoying what I'm reading. I love Sussex campus soo much and Brighton is such an amazing town. Clubbing there is soo much better than Jersey, I dont know how i'm gonna stand it when I go back! The other day, after we'd been clubbing, we went and sat on Brighton beach with bottles of wine, bottles of Brothers, flying saucers, and Oreos, and just talked and drank and looked at the stars. The boys then decieded to go skinny dipping, even though it was bloody freezing. The photos are bloody brilliant too!

So, yeah, I'm not sure what else to natter on about. THat's generally how stuffs going at the mo. I can hear some of my housemates downstairs, being very loud, so i think i'm going to do the mummy thing of going to see what is happening and tell them to shut up cause some of us (ie me) have three essays to do this week and we need our sleep!! Ha ah!!

Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.

If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together.. there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart.. I’ll always be with you.-- Winnie the Pooh

Claire and Alex left us last week. Rachel and Marina left on Friday. And, this Friday, Freddie, Tori, Methini and moi will be leaving. I will be the last to leave, the final Marmite. (how ironic, I'm listening to the Final Countdown while I write this!!!)

This song brings back soo many memories of me, Freddie and Chantel dancing like loons in the silent disco!! In fact, today I've been remembering lots of the fun times. I started to sort out my room today, and I'm going to have to clear it all out because my brother's getting my room once i've moved out. So i was finding junk that's been hidden for the last ten years and reminising about my time here in Jersey. I found some programs and ticket stubs from Stratford, which brought back memories of both Stratford trips. Freddie dancing to Queen in our room, shopping till we dropped with Claire, going to see Cymbeline, and of course, Freddie almost dying of excitement before The Tempest because of Patrick Stuart!!

I then found photos of the trip to Berlin with Methini and Marina, and I remembered the amazing fun we had. I then thought of Paris in Year 8 and Sri Lanka last year, and I'm thankful that I've had soo many opportunities to go away with my friends.

And there are soo many good memories that I hope I will never forget. And many of them involve Team Marmite. I'd like to add that I coined the name for us, although Freddie tries to take the credit!!

Swimming in our clothes, dancing like an idiot at Jersey Live, (ok, dancing like a loon anytime i drink alcohol), the gigs, the many movie outings, playing 40:40 in the dark, the orange game, beating the crap out of my friends, English lessons, beach times, crazy birthdays, tight tights!!......i could go on forever, there are soo many memories that just make me giggle when i think of them.

So, I just want to say good luck to Marina, Claire, Rachel, Freddie, Tori, Methini and Alex, and thank you so much for being the greatest friends anyone could ever want. I can't wait to see you guys again at Christmas so we can catch up!!

And to answer an earlier post of Freddie's - my eyes are my favourite part of my body. Which is weird cause they never stay open in photos!! Ha ha!! I love my eyes because they're never a definite colour. My mum says they're hazel, I've been told they're green, or brown, or grey. I love my eyes because i can see beautiful things, and my eyes express me too, even when I dont say anything.

Not the best two months of my life....

I was just reading Freddie, Marina and Rachel's blogs and realised that I hadn't written mine in a while. It turns out that i haven't written a post since 29th June!! I can't believe the time has gone so quickly and in next to no time (about 2 weeks) i'll be off to university. Finally, after so many years of waiting to finally become an adult, and move on to a better stage in my life, the time is nearly here. And i can't wait!!

But its not been the best two months of my life. Firstly I didn't get the grades I needed for Exeter or Cardiff and so i went into Clearing. I finally got a place at Sussex and I'm then told I havn't got Halls accommodation and I have to either stay with a host family (er no thanks!) or find private accommodation.

This was truly stressful because not only did i have to find a house to live in but i also had to find housemates. i was let down by quite a few people until i found a group i quite liked. I went to Brighton for the day to meet my potential housemates (5 guys, as yet I was the only girl but we were planning to get some more) and see some house. We eventually found a house we liked, and agreed to rent it. Finally some good news!!

However, yesterday I had some more bad news. For years, I've had very sore wrists, and I've always just thought it was from netball or doing too much writing. It suddenly started hurting really bad about two weeks ago, so I went to the doc and he sent me for an x-ray. I got the results back yesterday and I've got early degenerative arthritis.

FUCK!! I thought only old people could get arthritis!! I couldn't believe it! I was so shocked when he told me, I couldnt quite take it in and I just felt numb! It was only as i was walking to work that it hit me, and I had a little cry. He couldnt tell me how worse it would get and if it would affect me now, or it would only really start to affect me later. I have to see a specialist but as I'm off to uni, that wont be till xmas unless I see someone in the UK.

Then, about two hours later, I got a call from one of my housemates telling me that two other housemates had dropped out, for no apparant reason. Although he was really angry, as he'd already put down a deposit on the house, he told me that already he had other people asking about moving in. At the moment, we've got two more girls moving in so hopefully its now going to be 50/50!

Hopefully things'll start getting better soon because I hate all this bad luck i seem to be having. I'm extra sad because everyone's starting to leave for uni. Claire left yesterday and left a message on my facebook wall which made me cry, especially as i was in a fragile state anyway! Soon other people will be going and then it'll be my turn. Hopefully a new start at university will bring me better luck....

I think I made up from my lack of posts over the last two weeks by writing this extra long one! Its not the happiest of blogs, but hopefully I'll start feeling more positive soon! Today was a good start, with filming Freddie's new video which was actually so much fun, even if it was a little uncomfortable. I think I've decided I dont suit black hair (see below!) Ha ha!

The fair is coming!!

OMG! The fair is coming!

I love the fair. The lights, the music, the incredible speed of the rides!! It's almost as if it's a completely different world that you can escape to; a world much more exciting and dangerous.

Even the people who work there look like the stereotypical fairground worker - tough, strong and exotic. And scary. As soon as I get anywhere near the fair, I turn into a little child, giddy with excitement.

So I'm very happy the fair is here again, especially as I missed it last year! Woo Hoo!!

Pour Freddie....

Well, hello!

I've finally been coerced into writing a blog by Freddie. I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to write about, pretty much any thing that pops into my minds while I'm sitting at the computer. Mainly, it's to keep people up to date on what I'm doing (because I am the all important centre of people's lives!!)

Basically, the only reason I'm writing this post is to keep Freddie happy cause I promised her that I would have a post up for her to read after she'd finished training. So, ta da!!!

But after spending the whole day with her, as well as going on the flume rides over and over and over again, I'm a little too tired to think of anything imaginative to say at the moment.

Perhaps tomorrow with yield something more interesting!