Sometimes, I

Sometimes, I wish
I could fly,
Not like a bird
But on the wings
Of love, high in the sky.

Sometimes, I wish
I could be the ruler
Of the deepest depths
Of Hell, crushing
People’s bones for revenge.

Sometimes, I wonder
If he feels the
Love I feel towards
Him. If he feels
The love I have for him.

Sometimes, I want
People to suffer
For the wrong they
Have done, making
People’s lives a misery.

Sometimes, I loved
Sometimes, I hated
Sometime ago, I was
Alive.

Anyone remember this poem and who it is by?

Follow......

So, when I posted the last one a couple of hours ago, I was about to go off and watch a dvd before popping off to bed. In my house, that's not possible....

I first of all got drafted into helping with the washing up by doing the drying. Then my housemate, James, thought it would be a brilliant idea to clean the bathrooms - this was 11pm. What he actually meant by cleaning the bathroom was washing the damp from the walls. We're allowed to paint the walls because the paint is in such bad condition, so James decided now was the best time to clean the walls.

It was a lot of fun, but we've only just finished, cause once we finished the walls, the bath needed a clean cause it was all muddy, then the basin needed cleaning, so I did the toilet too and finally the floor.

So we have a nice clean bathroom!!! YAY!! That is until the rest of my housemates get back from their weekends away tomorrow, and the house becomes a bloody tip again! Oh well!!!

Now that I am UTTERLY exhausted, I'm off to bed, for real this time. Then its off to the library tomorrow to start some work......oh the fun!

Oh, anyway, it’s looking like a beautiful day

What a weekend!!!

I had an amazing time in the Land of Fred, and I am utterly exhausted. It was soo brilliant to see her again, even as Freddie lept on me, almost making me trip over my (far too big) bag. And then it was just a weekend of laughing, talking, taking the piss out of each other, arguing (true Freddie and Helen style), reminising and generally having a very fun time.



Then London which was one hell of an experience. And i hate to admit, that, at one point, I did feel Christmasy as we saw all the pretty window displays. That is past me now, and I'm back to being a Scrooge. Bah Humbug!



So after a weekend of fun and mischief, I'm back in my bed at home, absolutely exhausted, and really looking forward to seeing Freddie, and all my other friends, back in Jersey in 4 weeks time!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe I finish my first term at uni in 4 weeks!!!



Anyway, I'm very tired, and I think a little ill, so I'm going to settle down with a DVD, chill out then go to bed!!

Thanks Freddie for a brilliant weekend!!! :D

Nothin' lasts forever, even cold November Rain

Happy beginning of November.

I can't believe October went so fast, and I've only got just over a month left at uni until I go back to Jersey for Xmas. How freaking scary is that.

So, it's November and guess what.....it's raining. Well, it had to happen. Absolutely chucking it down all day long. I was going to go to the library casue I've got a couple of essays due this week, but I saw the weather and decieded to stay in bed. Which is where I am now, still in my pjs at 4pm.

I love being a student.

So I'm listening to November Rain, watching the rain outside my window, in bed with a cup of tea, and I dont think I could be happier. This is what I want to do for the rest of my life! Pity that I will have to go to the library tomorrow to do work, cause otherwise I'm going to be stressing all this week. But for now, I'm going to settle down, and enjoy listening to the rain outside my window, while I'm lovely and cosy in my bed!

What a funny old world this be...

Well, its half twelve and i've just been woken up by two of my housemates, playing a prank on another housemate by playing loud music outside his door. He wasn't even asleep but I WAS and so was very rudely awoken. And now I cant get back to sleep. I didn't sleep very well last night, and I was having such a good dream, and I'm tired, but my brain just wont stop going round and round and round and round and round and round.

It's been a while since I've written a blog so i thought id write one now as I'm wide awake. Unis been fun but completely manic and i'm living with people who dont have a quiet button, so the house is on the go all the time! its really quite tiring. I've been dubbed Mum because I do all the washing up, and look after everyone when they're hung over. I also sort out the bills and stuff, I organise everyone and I always make sure we have enough milk, bread, eggs etc. I love my housemates and I'm so glad everythings sorted itself out after such a rocky ride to get here.

My course is great - i've got a lot of reading to do which is really annoying, but I'm generally enjoying what I'm reading. I love Sussex campus soo much and Brighton is such an amazing town. Clubbing there is soo much better than Jersey, I dont know how i'm gonna stand it when I go back! The other day, after we'd been clubbing, we went and sat on Brighton beach with bottles of wine, bottles of Brothers, flying saucers, and Oreos, and just talked and drank and looked at the stars. The boys then decieded to go skinny dipping, even though it was bloody freezing. The photos are bloody brilliant too!

So, yeah, I'm not sure what else to natter on about. THat's generally how stuffs going at the mo. I can hear some of my housemates downstairs, being very loud, so i think i'm going to do the mummy thing of going to see what is happening and tell them to shut up cause some of us (ie me) have three essays to do this week and we need our sleep!! Ha ah!!

Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.

If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together.. there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart.. I’ll always be with you.-- Winnie the Pooh

Claire and Alex left us last week. Rachel and Marina left on Friday. And, this Friday, Freddie, Tori, Methini and moi will be leaving. I will be the last to leave, the final Marmite. (how ironic, I'm listening to the Final Countdown while I write this!!!)

This song brings back soo many memories of me, Freddie and Chantel dancing like loons in the silent disco!! In fact, today I've been remembering lots of the fun times. I started to sort out my room today, and I'm going to have to clear it all out because my brother's getting my room once i've moved out. So i was finding junk that's been hidden for the last ten years and reminising about my time here in Jersey. I found some programs and ticket stubs from Stratford, which brought back memories of both Stratford trips. Freddie dancing to Queen in our room, shopping till we dropped with Claire, going to see Cymbeline, and of course, Freddie almost dying of excitement before The Tempest because of Patrick Stuart!!

I then found photos of the trip to Berlin with Methini and Marina, and I remembered the amazing fun we had. I then thought of Paris in Year 8 and Sri Lanka last year, and I'm thankful that I've had soo many opportunities to go away with my friends.

And there are soo many good memories that I hope I will never forget. And many of them involve Team Marmite. I'd like to add that I coined the name for us, although Freddie tries to take the credit!!

Swimming in our clothes, dancing like an idiot at Jersey Live, (ok, dancing like a loon anytime i drink alcohol), the gigs, the many movie outings, playing 40:40 in the dark, the orange game, beating the crap out of my friends, English lessons, beach times, crazy birthdays, tight tights!!......i could go on forever, there are soo many memories that just make me giggle when i think of them.

So, I just want to say good luck to Marina, Claire, Rachel, Freddie, Tori, Methini and Alex, and thank you so much for being the greatest friends anyone could ever want. I can't wait to see you guys again at Christmas so we can catch up!!

And to answer an earlier post of Freddie's - my eyes are my favourite part of my body. Which is weird cause they never stay open in photos!! Ha ha!! I love my eyes because they're never a definite colour. My mum says they're hazel, I've been told they're green, or brown, or grey. I love my eyes because i can see beautiful things, and my eyes express me too, even when I dont say anything.

Not the best two months of my life....

I was just reading Freddie, Marina and Rachel's blogs and realised that I hadn't written mine in a while. It turns out that i haven't written a post since 29th June!! I can't believe the time has gone so quickly and in next to no time (about 2 weeks) i'll be off to university. Finally, after so many years of waiting to finally become an adult, and move on to a better stage in my life, the time is nearly here. And i can't wait!!

But its not been the best two months of my life. Firstly I didn't get the grades I needed for Exeter or Cardiff and so i went into Clearing. I finally got a place at Sussex and I'm then told I havn't got Halls accommodation and I have to either stay with a host family (er no thanks!) or find private accommodation.

This was truly stressful because not only did i have to find a house to live in but i also had to find housemates. i was let down by quite a few people until i found a group i quite liked. I went to Brighton for the day to meet my potential housemates (5 guys, as yet I was the only girl but we were planning to get some more) and see some house. We eventually found a house we liked, and agreed to rent it. Finally some good news!!

However, yesterday I had some more bad news. For years, I've had very sore wrists, and I've always just thought it was from netball or doing too much writing. It suddenly started hurting really bad about two weeks ago, so I went to the doc and he sent me for an x-ray. I got the results back yesterday and I've got early degenerative arthritis.

FUCK!! I thought only old people could get arthritis!! I couldn't believe it! I was so shocked when he told me, I couldnt quite take it in and I just felt numb! It was only as i was walking to work that it hit me, and I had a little cry. He couldnt tell me how worse it would get and if it would affect me now, or it would only really start to affect me later. I have to see a specialist but as I'm off to uni, that wont be till xmas unless I see someone in the UK.

Then, about two hours later, I got a call from one of my housemates telling me that two other housemates had dropped out, for no apparant reason. Although he was really angry, as he'd already put down a deposit on the house, he told me that already he had other people asking about moving in. At the moment, we've got two more girls moving in so hopefully its now going to be 50/50!

Hopefully things'll start getting better soon because I hate all this bad luck i seem to be having. I'm extra sad because everyone's starting to leave for uni. Claire left yesterday and left a message on my facebook wall which made me cry, especially as i was in a fragile state anyway! Soon other people will be going and then it'll be my turn. Hopefully a new start at university will bring me better luck....

I think I made up from my lack of posts over the last two weeks by writing this extra long one! Its not the happiest of blogs, but hopefully I'll start feeling more positive soon! Today was a good start, with filming Freddie's new video which was actually so much fun, even if it was a little uncomfortable. I think I've decided I dont suit black hair (see below!) Ha ha!